Time with Plants

I guess today was my day with my plants. I say I guess 'cause it was unplanned. I'm off for a a few days hoping to catch up with paperwork and music but I saw one bad plant and I thought it was time to replace it, time to repot the others, and there I was the whole afternoon with the rest of my plants!

I'm glad I did it though, 'cause really, I've been neglecting them. And they've just been patient with me. Well, yeah, you think there's nothing they can do but eventually die if I don't take care of them. But you know what, my plants love me. It must be the music they love at home... plus me! Everyone who comes here say my plants are super healthy. Yeah, right, I don't water them nor feed them for weeks, some even for months, and they still look healthy, huh!

But you know what, they really are healthy... and happy! Yeah, that I can guarantee - my plants are happy! So happy they're healthy! I must have a green thumb, I pride myself with that! But my friend, Jo, says I don't have a green thumb, "... your plants have human heart!"

There you go...

Lazy Day

Today couldn't be a lazier day for Norman and me. We watched 5 hours of the hit tv series, SMASH, On Demand. Literally, a pair of couch potatoes - WHOA!

We started the day with a walk to the Marina. We haven't been there for awhile as our days off don't always match. Today it did, that's why the lazy day! Actually, it was a day to chill out. We went downtown and we just felt like tourists. It was really fun! We went to WESTFIELD SF CENTER. We had dinner at the Cupola - best pizza in town! We walked down Market Street and simply enjoyed ourselves! A number of shops have come and gone - Surprised? Surprised!

On our way home, we stopped by our favorite STARBUCKS for  1 tall, non-fat, decaf mocha and a tall, non-fat hot chocolate, no whipped cream, then we were ready to spend the rest of the night in front of the TV to enjoy SMASH! 

... And were we "Smashed" after that!!

Post Script

I've just called up home right now. My mom is still sleeping. I'll call her again later...

Precious Moments With My Mom

Hugging her, sleeping with her, and she covers me with blanket from my toes up to my ears and neck, making sure no draft of air penetrates inside so I'm warm and comfortable. (I do the same thing for her.)
Giving her a massage, combing and brushing her hair after bath, walking with her at the front yard for her morning excercise... Eating with her, drinking Coke with her, her favorite drink ("Cheers!")... Chatting with her, joking, laughing! 
Playing Besame Mucho/Quizas, Quizas, Quizas, on the piano for her and singing them with her. (She played and sang "do re mi fa sol la ti do" for me in perfect pitch!) 
Looking at family photo albums and sharing memories together, and more memories and more memories and more...

On my last day at home, I knew, the minute she looked at me and kept looking at me wherever I was going around the house without saying a word, that she knew I was leaving that day. That look in her eyes... on her face - it was UNBEARABLE! 

My mother has dementia. And like the past years, all I can do for now is to call her overseas as often as I can just to hear her voice over and over, and for her to keep remembering me...  until my next trip home again.

I miss my Mom! I love her soooooo soooooo much.....

Welcome To San Francisco

Travel beyond the ordinary.

That was the first thing I read on a TV screen at the SFO airport ramp as I exited from the plane I took from MNL the other night.

"When you travel beyond the ordinary, it must be San Francisco". Still fazed from the trip, my mind was not quite clear yet as to what I've just read.

I was in Manila for almost a month. It always feels good to visit friends and family, especially my mother. Birthdays, anniversaries, family reunions, high school classmates', grand nephew's grade school graduation, a nephew passing the bar exam - they were all big celebrations! In fact, one reunion was with my cousins on my father's side. There were about 10 of us, cousins, from USA and Australia who went home about the same time, without having talked about our trips previously. Some of them, brothers and sisters, had talked about their plans but didn't know exactly when the others were coming. The day after I arrived, my brother, Tony, treated us all to a sumptuous dinner at a chinese restaurant, reuniting both visiting cousins and the ones living in Manila. Many of us hadn't seen each other for ages! The irony of it all was another cousin from Manila died on the same day we were going to meet!... Strange??... How can you explain that?!

I had an accident. I fell down the stairs at my mother's home from top down - Yes, from the top, about 17 steps, down! Me, the so so so very careful me??? Well, sh__ happens!!

What happened, how'd it happen, I don't know! It happened so fast. The next thing I knew, I hit the tall table where the big statue of the Sacred Heart of Jesus sits and I was waiting for the statue to fall on me and crush me... Then it stopped!!

I have a cousin on my mother's side, Minerva, from Canada. We call her the visionary in the family. The day I was leaving for MNL, I called her at the same time she was also trying to call me. She said she just felt she had to call me. I called her because the night before, I found my jewelry I was missing for a year, and I was so excited to tell her as she always said I would find it again. She was the first person I called when my jewelry was missing, to pray for its recovery 'cause her prayers are powerful, I tell you, and also the first person I called when I found it. Anyway, I asked her to pray for my safe trip, too, as I wasn't feeling well then and it was a long trip home. She said to pray to the Sacred Heart of Jesus and that when I got home, to greet the statue on the stairs and say "Hello" for her. "That statue is powerful, it is miraculous," she said.

After my fall, I stared at the statue and thought, "Were my cousin's words a forewarning?"

Because I hit the statue first, it prevented me from falling all the way down where, perhaps, I could have hit my head. Instead, I stopped short on the last step. Somehow, the statue of the Sacred Heart was there to "catch" me at the end. No, I'm not a religious fanatic, but after having talked to my cousin before my trip... I do believe in miracles -

"Truly, I tell you, if you have FAITH the size of a mustard seed, NOTHING is IMPOSSIBLE." - Matthew 17:20

Yes, I was badly bruised and had serious hematoma. In fact, if you wanted to know the distance between each step of the stairs, and the depth of each one, look at the left side of my back! I was sore. I had abrasions, with one seriously infected. I had contusions on my ribs so that it was painful to breath. Yet I didn't have a fracture and no head injury - How miraculous was that?!

I stayed home with my mother most of the days after the fall to heal. I didn't go out anymore, no shopping! I didn't even visit with my childhood friends which I usually did when I'd come home. The irony, again, I must say, is, the day before I left, one of them died. Again, how can you explain that?!

I had a massage at the airport in MNL before I left. I felt it would help me on my long trip back as I was sore all over. My nephews and niece always treated me to a spa every time I went home, but this time I couldn't do it because of the infected wound. But at the airport, fully-clothed and covered, my wound wouldn't be touched, I thought it was all right. It was a long flight, (no, actually, shorter this trip, 10 hours 40 minutes. As I recall, it used to be 12 hours). Nevertheless, still a long flight for me with my condition...

I looked back at the TV screen just before I entered the terminal building -

Welcome to San Francisco.

Travel beyond the ordinary.

Indeed, I've arrived! And... more than just a Welcome, it's Welcome HOME.

I Can't Believe this, I Can't Believe This!!

I was looking for a carry-on bag to use for my trip to MNL tomorrow, (I mean later tonight, past midnight now), and guess what, I found my missing jewelry my mother gave me a long time ago - inside the carry-on bag I used last year on my trip to MNL!! Unbelievable! Exactly one year from my last trip! I can't believe it! And I thought I had thrashed it accidentally!

A year ago, when I first realized I was missing it, it didn't bother me at all as I hadn't finished unpacking yet so I knew it was just there. But the following day when I started to seriously look for it, that was when fear overcame me, "I must have thrown the box in the recycle bin about 2 weeks ago!"

I had a Nordstrom box similar to my jewelry box which I threw in the recycling bin. Actually, I had put my jewelry packet in a small Nordstrom box. And I had another small Nordstrom box which was empty which I trashed away. Suddenly, I felt goose bumps all over me - I threw away the box containing the jewelry by mistake. 

That's it!! I lost it!!

That was it! I knew it was gone forever... Guilty, sad, sentimental, I felt horrible! If the jewelry were mine, I couldn't care less. I could replace it anytime, if I wanted to. But it was my Mother's! And having just come back from Manila to visit her, then to lose her jewelry - that's irreplaceable, unforgivable!!

I couldn't believe I did what I did, as I'm the most careful human being on this planet earth! I'm so aware and focused... and I lost my mother's jewelry?? I tried to trace back the steps I did with it - literally intellectually analyzing and rationalizing!! I thought that if I had thrown the empty box before I kept my jewelry away, then when the time came to keep my jewelry, I would have discovered I was missing it. On the other hand, if I had thrown the empty box after I had kept my jewelry away, then, simply, I had kept my jewelry away. Period.

So where was it?? I remember having put it somewhere temporarily until I was ready to put it in a new jewelry box my Mother gave me, but where was it?!... Or did I plainly irresponsibly, mistakenly throw it after all?

As months went by, somehow, a part of me started to feel that the jewelry was still here somewhere! All of a sudden, I had hope. Then one day, Norman was looking for something and he found it where he least expected. It felt "ominous", not bad, but rather, a good sign! Suddenly, I felt I was "closing in" to my jewelry! And innocently, I was thinking how nice it would be if I could find my jewelry again just before my next trip to MNL.

Fast forward to tonight... 

YUP, I FOUND MY JEWELRY!! I FOUND IT!! - on the eve of my trip to MNL one year later!! I can't believe it!

LORD ALMIGHTY!!

Brother Jesse's 10th

Today is my brother Jesse's 10th death anniversary. Rest in peace, my dear brother. We love & miss you. I did a little something for you to commemorate your 10th. Hope you like it.

MILESTONE

It's my brother, Tony's, "Big _OH" birthday!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BROTHER! HAVE FUN, BIG TIME!!

(Family has a big surprise for him! Shh... He thinks they're going to Fort Bonifacio for dinner with just family, but the big bash is at Wack-Wack Golf and Country Club with about 100 guests waiting for him. I'm excited! Wish Mike and I and our families were there!)

A Hearty Meal

Tofu sausage omelette with sweet peas and green onions and a touch of lemon, multi-grain waffles and sweet maple, with bananas, cherries and cherry plums, and hot chocolate for brunch - homemade... by me! The rare times that I cook!

Join me! I'm home alone.

I Knew I was Back Home in SF When-

• Coming home from the airport, I saw no more jeepneys, buses, motorcycles, tricycles and whatever other vehicles driving recklessly with no signals when changing lanes, no car horns tooting, no road rage, etc., etc., etc.!
• There were no more pedestrians crossing the streets every which way!
• I saw my name badge to work hanging on the hallway door knowing vacation's over
• I had no more rice for breakfast, lunch, dinner, including meriendas, and now, it's cereal or oatmeal for breakfast
• I saw my packet of cocoa tablets the cook gave me so I could do my own hot chocolate and/or champorado

Endringggg!! Where's my champorado??

• Before coming out of the house, I was instinctively looking for my boots!
• My luggage was unpacked halfway; correction, not even a third done - oops!
• I saw the computers and knew I could blog again! - Here I am!
• Above all, I knew I could not hug my Mother again, nor sleep with her, nor cover her with blanket to make sure she was always warm, nor brush her hair, nor give her a massage, nor eat with her, drink coca-cola with her, (her favorite so sometimes I join her with "Cheers!"), chat with her, joke with her, play the piano for her and so on and so on, and realized that all I could do for now is to call her overseas every so often just to hear her voice again until my next trip home... I miss my Mom!

A Tourist In My Own Country

Every year since 2000, I go home to visit friends and family, especially my mother. I always time my trip around her birthday in March. I go home to be with her 24/7. This time, on her 95th birthday, a milestone, Norman and I decided to go together. We stayed at my aunt's beautiful condo in Eastwood City, a world-class city in itself, for a week. I tell you, going places was a treat, I felt like a tourist in my own country!

First, the condo was so close to the shopping mall, restaurants, theatres and and more, Norman and I were simply entertained. Norman especially enjoyed going back and forth to the cafes and restaurants, and, man, I tell you, Manila's got some Good Eats! San Francisco and New York cannot brag of their best foods in town anymore. Manila can compete with them and the rest of the world for its stunningly superb cuisine - Filipino, Asian, international, and all fusion! Great dining everywhere we went! Quite impressive, I tell you that!

The condo was also right in front of a chapel that took care of my religious obligations, especially this Lenten season. Mindful of our Catholic tradition, land developers, architects, et al, have included in their blue prints to build chapels inside or around shopping malls. And that is nice! Knowing how Filipinos or Pinoys love to eat and shop, yet still not forgetting their Sunday obligations, having chapels inside or close to shopping malls are convenient. However, I must confess that although, yes, there is nothing above and beyond God, when you're at Shangrila chapel at the atrium on Sundays, for example, it's very difficult to focus on the altar alone. With so many floors of shops, restaurants and people all over, yes, there's definitely everything and anything above and beyond the altar... Oh, well.

We went to Makati Greenbelt, the Ayala Museum where we performed as guest artists for the JAM FOR JAPAN CONCERT, drove by Bonifacio Street High at the Fort, all part of the Ayalaland, and what awesome architecture! And simply world-class shopping and dining! Filipinos have such appetite for food and life the city doesn't sleep anymore. Norman says, " It's like NY!" And with all the high-rise buildings, commercial, residential, especially condominiums, which seem to be the style of living for city dwellers nowadays, I don't see poverty anymore! Of course, there is, and a classic distinction between the rich and the poor, at that, but it seems to be hidden by all the newly-built skyscrapers and infrastructure everywhere! Unbelievable!

I got a chance to revisit Tagaytay Highlands. This was Norman's first visit. Nestled in a beautiful high-level countryside overlooking the world's smallest volcano, Taal Volcano, this resort and country club brings leisure and luxury to the next level. Philippines now abound in so many beautifully-developed resorts for balikbayans and foreigners from all over the world, tourism has become a popular global leisure activity here in the country.

My CHS high school classmates treated me to a superbly delicious lunch at Kanin Club at the Ayala Triangle Gardens in Makati. It was a row of different restaurants and every bit was full to capacity and then some outside. Don't Filipinos cook at home anymore??

And as an alumna of the University of Sto. Tomas, I am glad I had a chance to revisit my alma mater on its 400th year celebration! I went to see our church, the museum and bought some souvenirs from the kiosks.

And of course, music is ALIVE in Manila! I got to jam at Scarlet Jazz Kitchen with one of the city's famous big bands on Timog in Quezon City. Timog Street is happening ("gimmicking"as they say)!

"Filipinos are EXPLODING with talents!!" as Cameron Macintosh once said when he was in Manila many years ago to audition talents for the musical Miss Saigon. There's Lea Salonga, Miss Saigon herself, Charice, Arnel Pineda, Cheryl Burke, and so many you see everywhere, on American Idol, You Think You can Dance, and so on! You will always see a Filipino in arts and entertainment!

Philippines is a beautiful country and the Filipinos are a beautiful people! I'm very proud!

Back Home Again... Where??

This is my first day out of the house since I came back the other night from Manila and I'm still disoriented as to where I am. I was at the Embarcadero Center and saw several Caucasians and I thought to myself, "There are so many tourists here." - For a quick second, I thought I was at Greenbelt Makati!

Good morning... or is it, Good evening??

I knew I wasn't in Manila anymore when, as soon as I got out of the house, I realized I forgot my hat, gloves, and scarf!

Walking by Oakland Uptown, I saw a woman with an amputated leg in a wheelchair "walking" her dog on a leash and the dog also had an amputated leg. Very touching! After passing them, I had to look back and watch them. There was so much love between the two. I've got to be back in America.

In my recent visit to the Philippines, I've never seen more dogs with owners or dogsitters taking care of them. And these are pure-bred dogs! I used to see just mutts, stray dogs in the streets they call askal, (short for asong kalye - "street dogs") abandoned, scavenging for food. Now it seems to be a status symbol to own expensive dogs. The more expensive, the richer you are. They're called sosyal (Tagalog abbreviation for "socialite").

In Manila, Norman & I were guest artists at the JAM FOR JAPAN where I saw

Richie Quirino, a musician friend and Berklee colleague and founder of the

Philippine International Jazz Festival. This was just a few days ago.

I saw him again tonight at the JAM FOR JAPAN, SF. No one told me he was

coming. It was Carlos Zialcita, founder of San Francisco Pinoy Jazz Festival's

surprise for me. For awhile, I wasn't sure again where I was.

After the show, Norman & I, both hungry, decided to go to STARBUCK'S

at midnight. Where is everybody?? Manila's ALIVE at midnight!

It's a "gimmicking" town, as they call it! There are restaurants open 24/7!

Obviously, I'm back in San Francisco!

Don't get me wrong. Manila is lively and Fun with a capital F! I love it!

San Francisco is quiet and cozy, but at at the end of the day, intimacy is what my

heart and soul long for.

Good night...or is it, Good morning??

Go Green!

I'm watering my plants right now. With my work schedule, I've been neglecting them. All I seem to do these days are eat/sleep/work.

No excuses!... I'm so sorry, plants. If it weren't St. Patrick's Day today, I'd forget again. I love ya'll, you know that.

My plants love me, though. They love the music in the house, I think that's what it is. I remember many years ago when I lived in L.A. and I had to go to Asia for a music event. A friend who was housesitting told me that I had one particular plant which, instead of facing the sun, would face my YAMAHA organ and go around it. Wow!

My friends tease me that I don't have a green thumb; rather, my plants have human heart!

Hot Lunch!

Tofu sausage, (I didn't burn it this time), and rice! Did I burn the rice???? How could I burn the rice in a rice cooker??? Did the rice cooker break?? COME ON!!!! Rice is the only thing I can cook - in a rice cooker, too, so how can I!@#$%^&*!... No, I didn't, it's alright, whew! 

And hot ginger tea with lemon and honey for a drink! 

Care to join me? Life is sweet, you know. 

And with organic peas, naturally sweet, as side dish, green is good, life's even sweeter!

BUDDHA LIVES HERE

Buddha lives in my house. He moves!

COOL FRESH AIR!

Aah, fresh air while doing tai chi outside!... Now a cup of hot chocolate inside with Christmas music on the background!

Care to join me?

IMMACULATE CONCEPTION

Today is the Feast of the Immaculate Conception, one of the  most significant Catholic doctrines about the Blessed Virgin Mary. I have a very deep connection with her from a past life especially related to this doctrine. I was so blessed! And always so blessed! I am not a religious fanatic. On the contrary, I stopped going to church for a long time before. Ironically, it was transcendental meditation (TM), which many people thought was another religion, that brought me back to my religion, back to my Catholic faith.

The reason why I am writing about the Blessed Mother right now, aside from her feast day today, is that I've been missing my Mom so much so that I've been praying to Mother Mary to heal her, keep her company in Manila, visit her often and take care of her while I still can't go home to take care of her. After a week or so when I called up my mother, out of the blue, she said over and over, 

"I love Mama Mary." 

"I love Mama Mary." 

"I love Mama Mary."

"I love Mama Mary." 

"I love Mama Mary." 

"I love Mama Mary."

"I love Mama Mary." 

"I love Mama Mary." 

"I love Mama Mary." 

"I love Mama Mary."

Initially, I didn't know why she kept saying it until I felt an overwhelming sense of calmness in me, an assurance that, yes, my prayer was answered. Mother Mary has been visiting my mother, healing her and taking care of her in Manila. That's between her and me.

Thank you, Mother Mary. I love you. I'm so blessed and humbled...

Blessed are Those Who Serve

Elsa brought me a bowl of ginatan, a bag of fresh pandesal, and 2 packages of mung bean cake today. She's so sweet! That's Elsa. She was the nanny to my brother Mike's 4 children for over 10 years at least, from the time they were born until the family moved to the US. Then she followed them here after getting married to an American. Elsa is an angel! She's always there for the family. She's now living comfortably in style, living her piece of the American dream. Yet when she's with us, all she does is serve. She'd cook, bake, baby sit the new additions in the family, she'd simply do what she knows best, and that is, to serve!

Freda is the same way. She was one of our family's household help in Manila. Now here in the States and living a comfortable life with her own family, she still remembers us and treats us the way she did when she was with us, that of service! And she proudly mentioned it as her profession on Facebook where I discovered her, even mentioning the family's name. It was so touching, so humbling to read! Again like Elsa, when they're with the family, they only live to serve.

Remembering what Gandhi said, "Live simply that others may simply live", with people like Elsa and Freda, however, whenever they are with us, they simply live that I may learn to live simply.

Thank you, Elsa. Thank you, Freda. I am humbled. I love you both.

One Year Ago Today

Last year, on this exact day, I wrote a post, 29 de Agosto, (August 29, 2009), because of its significance, its influence, personal and social, and so much more, in my life. I invite you to revisit. You'll get to know me more. It's like introducing myself again today. Hope you like it.

Happy Birthday, again, Richel!

Talk About... Jyotish, Accidents and Coincidences!

I had just gotten online reading my friend, Mark Kincaid's jyotish readings on Planetary Wars, benefices/malefics, remedies, etc., especially for this month, and I was just about to tell Norman to be careful of accidents when we heard a loud noise on the street and when we checked outside the window, we saw a tree that had just fallen right by our window. It was a part of the tree that fell to the ground. Luckily, no one was hurt and we're fine, at least for now. We won't know until the tree is removed then we'll see if there was any damage done but I think we're all right.

We're fine. Thank God.