On Actor, Javier Bardem

Glancing thru PEOPLE Mag at work, I read that actor, Javier Bardem, that tall, dark, handsome, sexy man from Eat Pray and Love is newly-wed to Penelope Cruz??

How could he be?? I love this man, I'm in love with this guy!! Uh, he married her 'cause he never met me.

Penelope Cruz is gorgeous!

Well...

Penelope Cruz is rich!

Well...

Penelope Cruz is famous!

Well...That's alright. He's ugly, anyway.