Talk About... Dead and Living

Recently, I lost a friend. Actually, I have several relatives and friends who passed on early this year. Funny when you tell people that someone has died and they ask,"How old?" and you say, "50's, 60's," they remark,"How young!" Yet, when someone is alive at 50s, 60s, they say,"That's old!"

How's that? Why? Where is the demarcation line between being old at 50's when you're alive and being young at that same age when you're dead? I don't understand. When you're alive at 50's, 60's, you're old? But when you're dead at that age, you're young? At that very moment, you are young again? What happened?

Life is funny. People are funny. You can be talking to a person, say 50's, who you think isn't that young anymore, then all of a sudden, right in front of your very eyes, for some reason or another, he drops dead and you remark, "God, how young!"??

Living. Dead. They're simply human experiences. Life is the beginning, death is the end. Then why the difference? You're either young or old depending if you're dead or alive? What happens after death? Afterlife. The hereafter. Does anyone know what goes there when we cross over? Do you? I don't. Is it timeless there, meaning, ageless, too?

What about past lives, do you believe in past lives? Reincarnations? Resurrection of the dead? Yeah, the resurrection of the dead according to our religion! What happens when our dead bodies resurrect? Do we come back as newborn again? That's great! But what if we came back at the age when we died, like a continuum where we left off, say, 50's, and so on, - God, that's old!

Laughter, the Best Medicine

Got this from email and love it!

Women are like phones:

They like to be held, talked to and touched often.

But push the wrong button and you're disconnected.......

Two Women Chatting...

One said, "If I can wear 4 and a half inch stiletto when I turn 60, I'm in damn good shape."

The other responded, "If I can wear 2 and a half inch heels when I turn 40, I'm in damn good sh..!"

I can't believe I heard this... Really cracked me up!

See What Multi-Tasking Does?

Paying my bills on-line, at the same time, looking for my i-pod to listen to Bill Evans' "Waltz for Debby", while cleaning and straightening up the hallway on the way to the studio, then Norman asking what I was going to listen to - without thinking, I answered, "Bills for Evan".

P.S.

I will definitely write a song with that title.

Funnies

Love The Irish
Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place. Looking up to heaven he said, 'Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Irish Whiskey!' Miraculously, a parking place appeared. Paddy looked up again and said, 'Never mind, I found one.'

On a T-shirt...

Too much of a good thing... is a GOOD THING! - love it!

Oops!!

We committed the sin last night!

Funny Logos

You see those shuttle vans, station wagons with the companies' logos on them. CPMC has BEYOND MEDICINE. One time, I saw one with the door open and the logo read BEYOND ME.

HOW TO DECIDE WHO TO MARRY

Here's Sharing -

Here are some answers that can only come from children -

Subject: HOW TO DECIDE WHO TO MARRY 1. HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHOM TO MARRY? (written by kids) You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming. -- Alan, age 10 -No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with. -- Kristen, age 10 2. WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED? Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then. -- Camille, age 10 3. HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED? You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids. -- Derrick, age 8 4. WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON? Both don't want any more kids. -- Lori, age 8 5. WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE? -Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough. -- Lynnette, age 8 (isn't she a treasure) -On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date. -- Martin, age 10 6. WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE? -When they're rich. -- Pam, age 7 -The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that. - - Curt, age 7 -The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do. - - Howard, age 8 7. IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED? It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them. -- Anita, age 9 (bless you child ) 8. HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED? There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there? -- Kelvin, age 8 And the #1 Favorite is....... 9. HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK? Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a dump truck. -- Ricky, age 10

Post Script

SOCORROPEDIA - it is the new dictionary! Just go to my blog archive, (on your right), click on month, then Word of the Day. Have fun!

Word of the Day

LOVE

• love (noun) is a feeling you feel...
  
• love (noun) is a feeling you feel when you feel...
  
• love (noun) is a feeling you feel when you feel that you'...
  
• love (noun) is a feeling you feel when you feel that you're feeling the feeling you've never felt before.

Whew! How's that for a tongue-twister, huh, or brain-teaser, or is it a no-brainer?! Hey, you want any word defined? Looking for a new meaning of a word? Come to the new SOCORROPEDIA. You'll find definitions you've never seen before.

Dictionaries are no more! Are there still books on dictionaries or do we just find them on computers now, on pdf, wikipedia, wiktIonary? Is the book form outdated?

I remember an old old story of a man in a bookstore who picked up WEBSTER'S DICTIONARY, didn't know what it was, opened it and seeing it, looked for the meaning of dictionary -

dictionary (noun) - it's the very book you're holding, you, idiot!

He didn't know what 'idiot' meant so he went to the word, idiot -

idiot (noun) - you, again?!

All right, lemme try that tongue-twister again -

• love (noun) is a feeling you feel when you...
• love (noun) is a feeling you fee...
• love (noun) is a f...
• love (noun) is a noun.

Lil' Stories

The other day, I was teasing Na, our lab assistant, about something she said, and Janet, the assistant lab manager, also teased me, "Socorro, you're a trouble maker."

I answered, "It takes one to know one," and everybody laughed.

A few minutes later, Janet retorted, "All right, Socorro, here's one for you. How will you answer this, 'Socorro, you're very sweet.'"

"Thank you."

April Fools' Day

It's April Fools' Day

Don't be fooled

April Fools' Day

Don't be tooled

April Fools

Be cool.

ATTITUDE, MAN, ATTITUDE

Here's a classic example of a glass that's half-full/half-empty -

On my way home to Manila, on the plane, I was seated beside, you won't believe it, a clinical lab scientist (CLS). There's gotta be a reason for this, that's another story.

Anyway, earlier on, Joe was looking at his watch and he said, "Boy, we've only flown 3 hours. We still have a long way home. We still have 11 hrs. to go."

I remarked, "We've already flown 3 hrs? That's not bad. We only have 11 hrs. to go!"

Later on, he says, " Wow, we're only half-way there."

And I said,"We're already half-way?"

Finally, he says, "Hey, we're getting close. We only have 2 hrs. left!"

Need I say more??

Confessions of a Cathoholic

Got this on email and it's so funny you'll enjoy it - Re: Catholic Info (DO NOT DIVULGE TO HEATHENS)

This information is for Catholics only. It must not be divulged to non-Catholics. The less they know about our rituals and top secret code words, the better off they are. AMEN: The only part of a prayer that everyone knows. BULLETIN: Your receipt for attending Mass. CHOIR: A group of people whose singing allows the rest of the Parish to lip-sync. HOLY WATER: A liquid whose chemical formula is H2OLY. HYMN: A song of praise usually sung in a key three octaves higher than that of the congregation's range. RECESSIONAL HYMN: The last song at Mass often sung a little more quietly, since most of the people have already left. INCENSE: Holy Smoke! JESUITS: An order of priests known for their ability to find colleges with good basketball teams. JONAH: The original 'Jaws' story. JUSTICE: When kids have kids of their own. KYRIE ELEISON: The only Greek words that most Catholics can recognize besides gyros and baklava. (for you non-Catholics it means Lord have mercy) MAGI: The most famous trio to attend a baby shower. MANGER: Where Mary gave birth to Jesus because Joseph wasn't covered by an HMO. (The Bible's way of showing us that holiday travel has always been rough.) PEW: A medieval torture device still found in Catholic churches. PROCESSION: The ceremonial formation at the beginning of Mass consisting of altar servers, the celebrant, and late parishioners looking for seats. RECESSIONAL: The ceremonial procession at the conclusion of Mass led by parishioners trying to beat the crowd to the parking lot. RELICS: People who have been going to Mass for so long, they actually know when to sit, kneel, and stand. TEN COMMANDMENTS: The most important Top Ten list not given by David Letterman. USHERS: The only people in the parish who don't know the seating capacity of a pew. Little known facts about the Catholic Church in Las Vegas : There are more churches in LasVegas than casinos. During Sunday services at the offertory, some worshippers contribute casino chips as opposed to cash. Some are sharing their winnings - some are hoping to win. Since they get chips from so many different casinos, and they are worth money, the Catholic churches are required to send all the chips into the diocese for sorting. Once sorted into the respective casino chips, one junior priest takes the chips and makes the rounds to the casinos turning chips into cash. And he, of course, is known as The Chip Monk.

The Creative Panhandlers

Some beggars have such a great sense of humor you just can't ignore them. We've seen those cards that say, "WHY LIE? JUST WANT A BEER."

Then there are those who'll open the door for you like at the Post Office or direct you to a parking space and hope you'll give them some change. On one hand it may seem abrasive. On the other hand, hey, they're finding ways to "work" instead of just sitting down on the streets and beg! I commend them for that. Plus they smile whether you give them or not anyway. They're just hoping we'll give them some. So we can't be rough on them.

One of the funniest things that happened to me was when I was walking downtown many years ago with a bag of Mrs. Fields cookies. Yes, that was a long time ago, well, not so long ago, when I'd get myself a bag of Mrs. Fields almost everyday, and not share them with anyone. I'm done with that now.

Anyway, a blind woman, or seemingly blind, as she was wearing big sunglasses like what blind people wear, was walking with her cane. It was not the typical white cane for the blind. She was coming towards me. When she was right in front of me, she asked, "Change for the blind?"

I ignored her. I walked past her, making sure I didn't hit her. But before I could totally go past her, she says, "What about 'em cookies??"

Well... when I was living in Southern California, in a great neighborhood, there was this Oriental lady, in her 30s, 40s, and, mind you, quite attractive. She must be Korean cause Korean women are some of the most beautiful, most fashionable women in the world! She was dressed to a T and She. Was. Begging??? She was not sitting down on the streets, she was going to each car when the stop lights went red!! And she only asked for one thing, "Could you spare me a dollar.25 for coffee?" - that's all, nothing else! I couldn't believe it! Yes, she was well dressed, I guess, she figured she was in a fancy neighborhood, she'd better look good and boy, did she, ever!...WHOA!!

There are some creative beggars, I tell you!!